Letters To A Young Therapist Series
Hey everyone!
I wanted to start my blog with Psychology and lean more towards research, books, and YouTube videos on Human Behavior. I wasn’t entirely sure how this was going to play out, then I got an idea to start with a book I’m currently reading called Letters To A Young Therapist by Mary Pipher. This whole book is based on letters that Mary sent to a dear friend, Laura. Phiper discusses her 30 years of clinical practice and the extensive knowledge she has gained. Phipher has helped chaotic families, abused women, gifted students, angry teenagers, people who are taking care of too many people, psychopaths, and adults who have committed various kinds of stupidity, etc. She has a Ph.D. in human suffering, which has enabled her to hear many troubling stories and has seen how humans can harm themselves and others. Mary Pipher presents her creative methodology in the field of therapy. She leans more towards being crazy optimistic, free of dogma or psychobabble, shows genuine warmth, and uses her common sense. Her 30 years of experience are worth looking over and annotating what parts are important. Creating this series will help me break down her book and comment on specific points she raised.
First off, I am going to break down some ground rules. I am only going to read one chapter at a time and break it down. So… this is Mary’s author’s note to her dear readers! This book is a remake of the original Letters to A Young Therapist. She begins to say that she stands by most of the work she published, but she found a few mistakes. Pipher talks about how being a therapist is pretty much timeless; humans have the same needs and desires compared to people from hundreds of years ago. At the end of the day, we all want to be understood, respected, and loved. She brings up a good point about how, no matter how much someone’s life looks, we are all suffering. Our world has changed so much since 2000. We are 25 years in, and our mental state has changed due to the culture we have created. We are influenced by the culture we live in, like being chronically online, high-class environments, people living in poverty, etc. As the years go by, we are worrying more about money than we were in the early 2000s. Phipher explains that Student Debt is higher, college students in humanities and social sciences are having a hard time finding work, and a large percentage of Americans live below the poverty line. Since we are living in trying times, we have been accustomed to sticking our noses to our phones and electronics. We live in a system that keeps us multitasking, scattered, hurried, and on the clock. This world relies on technology; we don’t even interact as much as we used to back in the day. We communicate with family, friends, loved ones, and strangers on a device rather than in person.
Maybe our mental health has been going down from constantly being reminded by a source of how much the world is in danger, evil, and always in a state of crisis. We are overwhelmed with too much information, choices, and too much complexity. It is a struggle for us to relax and slow down. Pipher makes a good point that contemporary culture is making us go a little cuckoo in the head. All this goes hand in hand with our state of mind and becoming vulnerable to addictions, compulsions, lethargy, and anxiety attacks. We distract ourselves with shopping, eating, and drugs to numb out the chaos the world brings. As a therapist, how can I make a difference in people’s lives when so much is going on right now???
This is where Mrs. Pihper comes into play. I have to acknowledge that there is a lot of pressure from the time and place I spend with them. She explains that clients need to see their problems in a larger context. I like how she sets out some questions she has asked her clients before, such as,
How do they filter information flow?
How do they relax after hearing traumatic events?
What keeps them grounded in a very turbulent culture?
It is hard to live a life that makes us want to give up and go to sleep. I am actually struggling to finish this blog. Either way, I am here pushing myself out of this feeling of dread. As therapists, we can suggest ways for people to connect with deep time and find the beauty of what is right in front of us. In the intro, I talk about how I love the art of noticing. It has become a habit of seeing the beauty in the simplicity of everything around me, which can seem cring to certain people. I understand, like, what is the point of appreciating the way the leaves fall from the tree? How is that going to solve my problem? Well, understanding that we are in the NOW is what helps us be more grounded and find the small steps we need to take. How can we achieve a goal if we just jump right to the finish line? Where is the process? Where is your arch story? I struggle with it still, but I try to remember where I am and try to be grateful because… It can always be worse.
A couple of topics I am glad she talks about are the relationship between therapist and client. This is pretty much the rundown: you sit in a room with another person who is supposed to have a safe and protected environment. You begin to explore the relationship and talk about the client’s problems. This is a time when they have the place to feel heard, have someone truly pay attention to them, and find ways to cope with their situation. This has all changed now that technology has come into play; the therapist and client can search each other up and learn about the other person, which wasn’t common back in the day. There’s social media, emails, blogs, and texting that people can go to for therapy, but it is not the same as having a careful conversation in a protected space and time. Nowadays, it is hard even to attend therapy since money is slowly becoming scarce, and everything is hard to afford. We can even afford an addiction, let alone our own bills. Not only that, we have to share confidential information with insurance companies just so our client can afford them. Furthermore, insurance companies need a clinical diagnosis, which can lead to misdiagnosis for the client. Phipher talks about her experience, and often, children come into therapy and have everyday struggles, like family, school difficulties, and normal developmental challenges. This can be an issue because when they are diagnosed, they are pinned down to pathological labels that can identify them for years. We need our profession to get better at protecting our clients with clean records and privacy.
Well, that sums up pretty much what she talks about in the Author’s Note. The last couple of pages talk about how children benefit more from less time in front of a screen, which allows them more opportunities for self-expression, play time, and being more active outdoors. Then goes into a rabbit hole of how we live in a family-hurt culture, being poisoned by media, too much technology, a time famine, and consumerism. In Phipher’s years of being a therapist, she emphasized and praised parents for the effort they invest in their kids and for creating a foundation for their family. She encouraged them to turn off their devices and spend some time outdoors with the family, get away from social media, and the endless amount of information we consume. Not only that, but to find a community of parents and grab dinner with them once a week. This benefits the family by being surrounded by families that want their children to grow and learn how to create a path for their future.
There is so much more to talk about, but I am tired and ready to go to bed. I will continue this series in my next blog. Talk to ya’ll later!
