Letter 1: Breadcrumbs

Hey everyone!

I hope ya’ll are doing well and taking care of your health. This past weekend was eventful and had a lot of time to reflect. I haven’t seen my cousins in so long, we are so busy with life. It seems like we are use to not seeing each other and don’t put so much effort in trying to hang out. Maybe it’s a pride thing, I don’t even put the effort to go see them. I mean Alexis did say that we don’t even have to ask, we can just show up and hang out with him. I do want to make changes because when we were all kids, we were constantly with each other. Each time the holidays would come in, my cousins from a different state would come over and it would always be a big party. I have so many good memories when we would have family reunions like hanging in the club house the older cousins built. Jocelyn, greg and I would go outside and pretend we were benders since we were watching Avatar: The last Air Bender at the time. I always looked forward the holidays, even with the drama I didn’t know what was going on, I loved being around my cousins.

This leads me into the first chapter of Mary Pipher’s book, Letters to A Young Therapist. Since this is the first chapter, I noticed that she started from the root of it all… Knowing where you came from, Chapter 1: Breadcrumbs.

Mary tells laura that she was looking at some old black and white photographs of her when she was a child. There is photo of Mary and her brother in front a red brick building because it was the first day of school. She begins to explain that her childhood pictures are a trail of breadcrumbs going through a forest of time between when she was born til the age she is at now—in the book she is fifty-five years old—even though memory is constructed and reconstructed. She says, “it changes constantly and is as subjective as dreams.” Then talks about her timeline. Growing up her mother was a Doctor and her father was a Lab-Technician but on the side he would raise pigs, geese, and pigeons. So, growing up Mary and her siblings would wildly neglected for how busy her parents were. For the most part psychologist would label her as a parental child but she viewed it as having a important family role—she was the oldest— which gave her authority and autonomy. She learned the joys of working hard and being useful… In a sense, something you need for being a therapist. Afterwards she explains that she knows all of the lore in the town she use to live which another breadcrumb in her life. She witnessed the bullying, shunning, fights in her town because the victims were “different” and she admits that she didn’t do anything about it. That is one of the reasons why she stands up for people now, to atone what she didn’t do in the past.

Mary emphasizes her love for nature growing up, she enjoyed watching the Northern Lights, the twinkle sky, and rainstorms. During spring she would sometimes go to a creek, take off turtles and snakes off the highway. She was outdoors every time she had a chance and learned that whenever she is bored or upset, she knew that Mother Nature would take of her.

Going towards the end of the chapter, mary misses how her childhood use to be and how simple life was. As she tells Laura in her letter that she is in a season of new beginnings with her career, and she wants to hear more about her history. Laura was telling Mary that students on campus go to her to talk about her problems. Mary told her that being a confidante is apart of her breadcrumb trail, just like I will be too when I become a therapist.

“Knowing yourself helps with our lives as well with our work”- Mary Pipher

Our calling.

Going back to what I was saying in the first paragraph, I enjoyed Mary’s chapter about looking deep in our past. In order to understand who we are and remember our roots WILL keep us grounded. As well as being in touch with nature, sometimes taking a walk, laying on grass, hugging a tree, swimming in water, or sitting in silence with nature can help you get back to yourself.

When I saw my cousins this weekend, I remembered my childhood and how much of an impact they had in my life. The time we had, it’s what made me love being outside, always having an imagination, creating funny videos, dancing, and being expressive. My cousins were older than me so they had more spotlight then I ever did, not in a bad way… Just made me more observant and in the back. I had a great childhood thanks to my mother but in a way, I was neglected and didn’t get paid attention a whole lot. I know that is the reason why I have a hard time letting go and don’t like having falling outs with people. I never was used to having someone stay as a kid, not trying to be a victim but that is kinda how it went. In a more positive perspective, it’s why I know how it feels to not feel valued and heard. I sometimes do have hate in my heart and my family knows me as an angry person but it comes from always being picked on, not being heard, and getting pushed aside. So in a way, I want to help others get out of their pit of sadness and listen to them. Make a change in their hearts, I wrote a poem about it not so long ago. It’s called What’s Ahead:

Balter down a road
I see why I was the one that kept my mouth closed
Who else understands the unseen? Why does it have to be me?
What qualities can I share?
Someone wants my expertise?!
I want to try, even look into the other side
just a peek...
Even Jung once said that we need to look inside our darkness
to understand the ones in need.

As I went down a road that I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions, I eventually found the light that I seeked. Of course Alexia is the main reason why I wanted to work with people under 18 but looking back on my breadcrumb trail… It kinda makes sense on why I choose Mental Health as a Profession.

Okay, I hope y’all enjoyed today’s summary and reflection, I pray to improve as I continue this series!

Thank you,

Val